The Shroud of Self-Doubt

I promise I will bloglite tomorrow.
So here you are, at a heavy weight and you have the moment of this is it! I think for the most successful weight loss people they have a moment or they hit rock bottom and they make a huge DECISION to leave this place they are at. They make a COMMITMENT. The commitment to a program and to themselves and then they work at it.
So there you are standing on your own wearing a fat suit, a coak of denial, and a shroud of self-doubt. That is a lot of baggage. And you start out. You are successful almost right away. The first thing to go is the fat suit. Really, that is almost the easiest. The worst part about starting out on a weight loss journey is that you lose really fast right away normally and you have some good consistent losses. You are slowly convincing yourself that you can do this, but no one really knows. Unless you are lucky to have your own cheerleader along and that is rare. I do not have any cheerleaders. That is why they often tell you to find a weight loss buddy. I just read an article on why that is a good idea. Here is why I don't think it works.
1. Undoubtedly you won't both have the same level of commitment.
2. Statistically one is likely to drop out. So either you or your buddy won't last a month.
3. Jealousy. That is right. One person loses more than the other. It will be hard for the other person to be supportive.
Probably my best cheerleaders right now are the women at weight watchers who do the weighins. They applaud even the smallest loss and point out that I have been losing now for months consistently and am definitely doing good. They don't get made when I practically rip their heads off over a gain, like last week's unsubstantiated one.
So, if you have a buddy or a cheerleader that is good for you. I have had a hard time because I am a loner at heart. I already wrote a post why support threads don't work for me except I noticed there is finally a good one on Beachbody where people are posting their daily food intake. Some of them are doing weight watchers and counting points too. I don't normally see that on their threads. There are small "clicques" over there that kind of have a leader, who has usually been successful and has acheived an idolatrous status among their groupies, and the majority of the people who phone it in or whine about how their personal problems are holding them back. I think menu threads are usefull. They show some accountability and are good for menu/recipe ideas.
Anyway, the beginning of the journey is usually wonderful because SUCCESS is important. You have to have a reward for your hard work. Losing weight feels great. It just does.
Then the hard part, you are losing the weight and then something happens, like a personal problem or the holidays or an unsubstantiated gain like last week, then all of a sudden it is HARD.
There you are with a little less fat suit to protect you and maybe some of the cloak of denial, but you are still covered with the shroud of self-doubt. What to do.
I find at this point you can only continue if you face that too. You have to evaluate something about yourself. You have to dredge up old memories and do some emotional work, because if you want to get rid of all this PROTECTION you have had, guess what is left under it. Your real self.