Sticking With It

I am sure at some point in anyone's life, especially when we get middle aged like myself here, we look back or are holding on to some regret and we think IF ONLY I WOULD HAVE STUCK WITH X, I COULD BE Y.
This applies beyond diet of course.
If I would have stayed in this relationship, things would be better because......
If I would not have quit piano lessons, by now I would be a concert pianist.......
If I would have stayed in college, by now I would be making 150,000 a year instead of......
Fill in the blanks. Of course we don't know these things.
If I apply that to dieting, I might still be at goal weight if I had stayed on the first diet I ever went on.
I was always considered to be one of the fat kids in class, from grade school on. I was not one of those flabby fat girls, just BIG. By today's standards I would be normal because if you go look at a fifth grade class, there are way more fat kids now and by middle school, there are tons of chunky kids compared to when I was in school. My first official diet was following the weight losers diet, some early ripoff of weight watchers, that I started with my sister the summer before my sophomore year. My sister, who has always been obese, actually went to the meetings, but I did the diet with her. These diets were very restrictive in those days. There were no cheat days or free meals or extra points to swap for stuff we liked. I stuck to the letter to this diet for the whole summer. I went from approximately 160 pounds down to about 140. Looking back at those pics, I looked amazing. I got a new wardrobe of neat clothes and when I went back to school I was sure I would have a perfect life. The boys would be all over me. I would be a popular girl. None of those things happened. I remember the day exactly in English class about a month in to the school year. The boy I liked was dating a girl who weighed about a hundred pounds. I had this cute dress on with sort of a full skirt. I stood up to get something and I heard a boy say, "An elephant in a little girl dress."
This was not how I pictured I looked. I was devastated. An elephant at 5'7" 140 pounds? That is how people saw me. I never wore the dress again. Within three months I was up to 165 pounds.
I had not equipped myself and was not emotionally mature enough to handle that. If someone said that to me now, I would flatten them in no time.
Kids were harsh. They still are.
The same thing with working out. At one time I really wanted to be a bodybuilder but I felt I could not handle the diet. If I had worked at it, now I realize, I could have acheived that if I chose, but I had too much self-doubt.
You can only work at where you are at now.
I want to be an ultimate yogini. I am on my way there. At 49, I am more advanced than a lot of kids half my age. I am not too old. I am not too fat. The only thing holding me back would be to quit and I am finally mature enough to not even give that an option.