Friday, November 30, 2007

Sick of the Yoga Blog

This is my original weight loss blog. I have been gone a while but need this outlet badly right now.

To catch up, a few months ago I got a new job. Which I love. That is going well. I am sitting in my own office as I speak with a panoramic view of a prairie restoration area and the sun rise on a cold morning. I just ate my breakfast of oatmeal eggs and juice after spending 40 minutes on the elliptical at the Y this morning which is about a block from here.

I am a certified yoga instructor now and am teaching a lot of yoga. I take every class I can for people who need subs. I teach yoga, flow, hot yoga, and yin. I love my students. I am going back for another 300 hours to become a yoga therapist. I am hoping this turns into a lucrative career at some point. I like my new job, but being an accountant is pretty boring and I love being involved with yoga.

Just being at the gym this morning showed me I am needed and this career should be booming soon. I am on the cutting edge of this. My training starts in March and will take a year to complete. I already read everything I can on yoga therapy but I have a lot to learn. This morning I saw a 55 to 60ish year old man running on the treadmill with his knee bandaged up. I imagine he had surgery on it. His body was so stiff and he was running so crooked I bet his hips must be crying. I saw a lot with other people. They are either just lolling along on a piece of equipment or just don't know what they are doing. Just because they go to a gym, doesn't mean they are fit. Most of them could have used a trainer. They were either doing something wrong or totally wasting their time. I do HIIT on the elliptical and check my heart rate all the time and at least break out a sweat.

Anyway it is 76 days until I get married and go to Maui, thus the heavy workouts and clean nutrition. I will come back and talk about diet soon. I need to read about where I have been first.

For now, me

Monday, September 17, 2007

DID NOT DISAPPEAR

I had to open another blog, which is about yoga. I just completed teacher training a month ago and now have a lot of homestudy and journaling is one of the assignments. Here is the link:

http://joansyogablog.blogspot.com/

It isn't very interesting to be honest.

Oh I am also back on weight watchers having gained ten pounds of ugly fat. I am so proud of myself!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

THE THING

Crazy insane stuff this yoga is. I hadn’t been to Bikrams in a week and have been doing ‘flow’ type which, for me, just isn’t the same. It is yoga and it is good. And for some people. A lot of people actually. It is the thing for them. But the thing for me is Bikrams and really pretty much that is the only thing that solves ‘it’ for me.

Anyway I went to class last night and hadn’t been there for a week. After having this crazy colonoscopy stuff that three my body off, the weight gain, and the brain stuff that is driving me insane-o. And working as hard as I can to get the food thing on track, which is time consuming and also causing me big time brain problems. Right now, not listening to my brain is taking a lot of energy.

I knew I needed yoga last night but I walked into the studio and it was superhot and I didn’t think I would get through it, but I rocked it like a rockstar instead and just realize it is the only thing I get a total mental, physical, spiritual release from. It takes care of it all.

But that is just for me. It may not do that for anyone else but for me, it is the THING. That works. I am going back tonight. Might have a bad class but it really doesn’t matter. I know it will work and I know something will be better because listening to my brain right now is just bad. NOT a good place to be at.

Also on the subject of yesterday. Celebrity gain back. Has anyone seen Courtney Love. She is very skinny right now. Apparently she gained weight up to 182 pounds on a macrobiotic diet and now has lost 45 pounds in four months drinking two protein shakes a day and one meal of fish and veggies.

She will gain back. Because she is an addict. She just spent four months being addicted to a diet. She will fall off.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

ALL GOOD FOR NOW

I am loving this new life I have, but I am super busy. It is fun being busy doing something you love. My ‘real’ job is not something I love. It is something I loathe. But, having the yoga training now gives me something to look forward to. I will be spending another full weekend in training but instead of thinking of it as something that will exhaust and drain me, I look at is as something that reinvigorates me. It gives me hope. That I won’t be always doing something I hate in a toxic workplace with toxic people. Hope is a good thing.

I am also not being as hard on myself for the small weight gain because this week I noticed that most people who lose gain, and the rest just gain. I am working with the Precision Nutrition program. I am getting married in February and we are going to Hawaii and I am taking no extra fat there.

At any rate, after reading several magazine articles about Janet Jackson and her great weight loss, I picked one up at the grocery store yesterday and yup. Janet has gained a ton back. I saw her 1200 calorie a day diet. No one can keep that up long term or life term. I would have been miserable on it for two days. Also, Kirstie Alley. Yup. Gained weight. I know those pictures of Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem look good, but I doubt and have not heard much raving about it. In fact,most of it is nutritionally devoid of anything wholesome and probably tastes like crap. From what I have heard anyways. I have never tried any of it. I don’t usually have frozen Smart Ones or any of that at home because it seems to me you are basically paying for the packaging. A lot of women carry them to work here to eat and when they make them in the microwave, I can smell that box smell and it doesn’t do much for me. I am sticking with superfoods and hoping I can keep this up. But 1200 calorie a day diets don’t work for me. I don’t like suffering.

Last week I had my first colonoscopy and basically had to starve for two days. This totally freaked my body out. I started a mini binge on Friday and then got myself in check. My digestive system is sort of back to normal today but I am so mentally and physically tuned into my body. My body just freaks out. Then my brain freaks out. I am trying to not listen to the brain much these days because it has been saying so much crazy stuff.
But it likes the yoga training and my new career. My mind, body, heart, and soul are very in tune with this. During the weekend we were in a yoga class and I just realized that this is the right thing to do and I could not not do this. I would regret that even with all the craziness going on. It is all good.

Friday, July 13, 2007

MESSED UP BIG TIME

By not getting on the scale for two months. Today I weighed myself and am up about ten pounds now from my lowest weight. That totally sucks. I just jump back on though because this is not acceptable, but it is predictable.

Because I am, after all, a yo yo dieter. The scale is my enemy. I have been known to not get on one for years and years. The last time I did it for a long period of time, I gained about 40 pounds. So this time, I got off easy. I was going through a lot of stress not weighing myself and now the stress is gone because I KNOW where I am and am not living in denial that no my pants aren't really getting tightere. Because they are. I hate saying that. But it is true.

This is a bad cycle I have been in all my life. It is self destructive and it makes me feel a lot of self-loathing so I punish myself by eating.

But I know I will lose it again. Everyone backslides. I am a yo yo dieter and a food addict and nothing will change that. If I would not have gotten on the scale in another two months, it would have been another ten pounds and at 20 pounds, I would be less likely to lose it. The ten pounds is doable. I am getting married next February and intend to be in the best shape of my life.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

IT IS ALL GOING DOWN

This blog will eventually transform to a web site about me and my career as a yoga therapist. I just started my official teacher training as a certified yoga teacher. This December I start my training as a yoga therapist. I am hoping this gets me out of my current career as a CPA in accounting hell. Or at least some decent part time income on the side. My dream is to quit this place but the reality is the insurance and retirement is too good to give up, but I can tweak it. Maybe go part time? As a yoga therapist I can charge more per hour. Loving this.

Really superbusy right now and preparing for my first colonoscopy tomorrow.

Monday, July 02, 2007

OMG Everyone Is Fat

I went to the fireworks on Saturday night.

It is true. Everyone is fat. It is an epidemic but I don't think anyone realizes it because they are probably in denial that they are fat. I know I am obsessed over my weight and my body image but I have to think it is better than just not caring? And just not caring about their health.

Most women in my age group are overweight. I would say the obesity rate in the 30-50 age range is pretty high too. But the younger women? I really did not see one woman there who was fit or trim. Everyone was either out of shape or overweight or both. There was one young women there running around in a bikini who should not have been. I wouldn't call her that overweight but she had no muscle tone. It seems like the younger women, like in the 18 to 25 range aren't exactly overweight yet but there was a lot of midriff pudge, that I attribute to sugar being too prevalent in their diet.

I should stop complaining. Really. The only way to stay in shape and to look good is to be a little obsessive. The alternative seems to be not giving a damn and eating all the chips I want. I hated myself overweight. Do all these people, not just women either, there are plenty of overweight men, just accept it or are they as unhappy with themselves as I was.

It isn't about perfection. It is about caring about yourself and your health. The statistics are out there on obesity. Children. Obesity. Don't even get me going on that. Diabetes. High blood pressure. All these life style related diseases. No one is listening though. No one is really willing to do what it takes to live a better life. I will go back to the fireworks next year, just to see if people have gotten fatter.