20 Pounds Til Goal

I almost can't believe it. I only lost .6 but got in the 180s. That is huge for me. I spent months trying to get back on track and now I am doing it.
It all comes down to believing in yourself. If you don't really think it is going to happen and you constantly doubt yourself, you won't accomplish anything. You are just marking time to self-sabotage. I have done that. I move in that direction, all the while never thinking I will accomplish my goal and then I get close and panic. I am not supposed to be there. I have spent almost 50 years defining myself as a fat person. I will probably do it at goal too. I have the fat chick mentality. That is hard to rewire. It might be impossible no matter what the scale says. Now, I believe it. I believe I will get to 169. I am not looking past that right now. Well, I am thinking about it, but right now I am thinking in terms of short term goals. My short term goal is ten pounds, or 170s by my vacation in April.
I know the work will be harder now. I am constantly re-evaluating my food plan and exercise. Although I love yoga, I am trying to add more cardio and weights. Hate to give up any yoga though.
I went to a party and sort of sabotaged my week. I mean, it is my birthday and we are going out for vd tomorrow and I nibbled on a few things that cut into my flex points. Sucks royal. Will really have to watch it at dinner, but I can make it up Wednesday through Friday. I hate weigh in though. I almost frigging passed out in yoga on Saturday morning. Kind of feels good though too in a way. Yesterday I was hungry, so carbed up a little and felt better.
I do believe in carbs.