I survived the summer. My daughter is happy back at college, sans car, which now, I realize made so much sense. I really stuck to my guns on this. She is not used to hearing the word ‘no’ I have to admit. She was wearing me down and brainwashing me to the point where I was wondering, yeah it makes sense to cosign a 13,000 auto for a sophomore in college. Luckily I snapped out of that and she is in her dorm and happy as a clam to be with her friends again.
This was a pivotal summer for me. I got to my weight goal and have lost more weight since then. I achieved Weight Watcher lifetime status last week. I also am now an apprentice at my yoga studio to be a yoga teacher. My daughter is probably gone for good. Life has certainly changed. And all of this was possible thanks to – ME.
I don’t ever want to go back. I have no problem with people who are happy with themselves at whatever weight or shape they are in, but I am not one of those. I was never happy when I was fat and nothing made me truly happy when I was fat. I was not living to my full potential and I was using the fat as an excuse to hold myself back. I did this for years. I had even almost accepted I would be fat forever, but there was also this part of me that didn’t really feel like a fat person. Part of that was denial, but another part was a resistance to being like ‘them’. One of the fat outcast people.
Now I am not that. One word you can no longer use to describe me is fat. I am not a fat single mom. Now there is an ugly label. I had it for years. At my family reunion I noticed hey everyone is getting fatter! The whole country is getting fatter. I work with a lot of huge heavy women. Who get heavier every year. Lately it seems as though everyone I run into that I haven’t seen for a along time has gotten heavier.
But I won’t be doing that. I am on to the next part of my life and I am not going back.
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4 comments:
Some women have given up on anything. They have been seeing themselves fat for too long and now started to believe they could not change.
I should know it as after I had my 2nd baby and stayed fat for more than a year eating away my frustration with the colicky infant I got to the point that I expected the scales to show that same big number all the time. Now after losing pounds over the summer I still expect that and often can not believe what I see on the scales.
Anna M.
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Women often eat for emotional reasons. At 51 I find myself taking care of my parents and kids and grandkids. I have a new job that is high stress and not enough hours in a day to fit everything in. It's hard to eat right. I have learned not to judge anyone on the basis of looks as they fade.
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