Happy Halloween

Yesterday I did not mean to put up a whiney blog, more of a warning. When I was obese and overweight I read blogs on people who were successful like crazy. I really thought the key to happiness is thinness. And it is in a way, but it does not solve problems. The problems are still there. You just have new coping mechanisms other than eating your way through them. Eating your way through a problem is a problem. And it solves nothing. It creates another problem, fat.
Changing this behavior is difficult because your impulse is to reach for x when y happens. Lately I have a lot of x things happening and am struggling to not engage in y behavior. Today is a difficult day for a lot of us battling with our food addictions. Work places everywhere are having their Halloween potlucks. Our copy room right now is full of cookies, brownies, chips, candy, and crocks full of cheesey gooey stuff.
The last few times I participated I literally ate myself silly. Work potlucks were an excuse to blow a diet I wasn’t really on. I would start the next day. So I would literally not stop eating all day and by the end of the day I felt so sick, that sometimes I would go home and get sick. At weight watcher meeting last Saturday they discussed the coming holiday season and everyone talked about ‘bringing a healthy dish to pass’, but I know this doesn’t work for me. There will be one or two fruit or veggie trays but my tendency will be to overindulge in something or pick up something I shouldn’t. So I had to quit participating. Today I am going to take a long lunch and do an elliptical session at the gym.
So don't look here for the key to happiness. I know it isn't in a cookie though. I have size 8 pants on today so would not even consider joining in the fun.
I have to say this is isolating me. For some reason it seems like no one likes me right now. I have no friends at work. I have one good friend who has been superweird about my weight loss and now she seems to be avoiding me. I was at teacher training yesterday and some of the people there were not being that friendly. I wonder what it is about my personality. Maybe I come on too strong? Know it all? I don't know, but I do feel isolated from a lot lately. My fiance hardly ever talks so he isn't exactly helpful. The kids are gone this week and he won't do anything all weekend but watch football. We might go to a movie. I love him, but he is boring as hell and my yoga workshop got frigging cancelled.
Next weekend I am having a chili party though with a few of our friends, including the woman who is passive aggressive about my weight loss. The thing is. She weighs about 105 lbs and never has had a weight issue. She keeps telling me not to lose more and not to buy more clothes and a lot of other crap I don't appreciate. So I do not have a 3d support system at all. Including my family. My mom is the worse.
Sigh.