Scale Aberration

Is what I call a gain these days since I know I did not gain .6 lbs last week. I worked my tail off and fought the mind chatter all week. After my weigh in I went to the grocery store and bought the cleanest of clean foods and stocked up on chicken, fish, veggies, fruit, and healthy grains so that this week I will have a loss.
Hate to see a gain and the scale totally freaks me out. I have a very unhealthy relationship to the scale. Always have. I batted around a daily weigh in this week but our scale at home actually weighs me in heavier so that may freak me out at this point.
I got called out on Ediets for posting something mean about my coworker and the woman was right, but I have a lot of anger along with empathy for heavy people these days. It is more about me than it is about them because I see them exhibiting behaviors that I have had in the past and that scares the hell out of me. This morning I mindlessly walked in the copy room and started cutting a bagel that the director brought in. That is bad behavior for me. Someone walked in and I put it down. It had raisins in it and I hate that but it was like I was a zombie. There was no trigger emotion going on. I just did it. That scares me. But I did stop myself but I know once I get in those behaviors it is not time at all and I will gain. Or quit weighing in.