RADICALS

I have a new television show I love to watch. It is called Big Love and it is on HBO. The story is about a Mormon family headed by Bill Paxton that practices polygamy. Polygamy was outlawed in the Mormon church over a century ago but there are still sects of practitioners of the path. Bill’s character has three wives, Jean Tripplethorn, Chloe Sevigny, and another actress. They live in the real world and each wife has her own home. The homes are adjoining and they act as a complete family. Obviously the concept of this show is too radical for bland network programming and HBO is able to show a naked Paxton frolicking with his wives in bed etc. I don’t feel this is the most radical part of the show nor is the polygamy. The most radical concept this show delivers is the the practice of a faith by people in their every day life. This is a first on tv. When tv has approached the subject of religion and spiritual practices, it has merely been to show certain religious holiday practices or else they have had cutesy emotional story lines about ghosts or spirits or angels speaking to people. Never in the history of tv has a show depicted the every day struggles of people practicing their faith or spiritual belief systems. This show does that.
I hate to make the easy comparison of this with our diet struggles, but I think it is much the same way because we are radicals who practice healthy eating and exercising. We practice good health in our daily lives. We are elite, but we are also isolate and alone sometimes.
Does that sound too dark? I don’t think there is one person I have ever seen post on any thread on dieting that were not experiencing resistance, negativity, sarcasm, and pain from those around them, family, friends, and coworkers at the point where they were giving 200%. Just this morning I was on the elevator and I have a nice outfit on and one of the trolls I work with, glared at me. And I was not imagining it. I have experienced a lot just getting on the god dammed elevator first thing in the morning before I even get to my office. You know what this sort of behavior has made me do? It has made me dress nicer every day. I wake up and think what outfit I can wear to day to incite jealousy? I must look really good to be so reviled. I am not even allowed in the lottery ticket pool any more.
Yes, this is isolating. It is radical living like this, but like people of faith you have to ask yourself what are you giving up and what are you gaining. I am going home for a family reunion this August and I anticipate right now that I will be the subject of discussion there. My mom is already offended and scared of my weight loss and I have lost almost 20 pounds since the last time she saw me. I am not anticipating having a good time because I am radical. I am living a lifestyle and practicing a way of life every day that most people want to practice, but have convinced themselves they can’t. I have to uphold this lifestyle and explain it to my family. They will give me excuses about the way they eat. They will give me reasons not to exercise. They can’t drink that much water because it makes them gag. Am I giving up too much? Finally it occurred to me what the alternative is. The alternative is to live like them. Now I am one of the Others like on the tv show Lost. On the second season finale Hurley finally asks one of them who they are. The man answered that they are the good guys.
I am a good guy. I am. I am really not trying to do this to make anyone else unhappy. The alternative is to be like one of them. I am not happy fat. I don’t really believe people who say they are happy fat people. They are in denial. I believe. I didn’t like being in denial, pretending I was thin when I was fat. It was a lie. I lived the lie every day. I would rather be radical than a liar.